In two days, I've read through a Republican Governor's request for Congress to ban online gaming and a Democratic Governors Association letter asking for Congress to not ban online gaming. Their reasoning behind both are a rhetorical abomination.
The Republican Letter from Rick Perry
The 10th amendment crusader Rick Perry....oh wait. If it involves technology that can easily cross borders, the federal government needs to be in charge. So in 2014, basically all e-commerce and pretty much everything else should cede power to our omnipotent Federal government. Burn the 10th straight from the bill of rights at this point. What's more offensive? We are still throwing terrorism in there as an excuse and the government protecting us from ourselves. Oh yeah, kids aren't in dorm rooms. When you are 18 years old, you are an adult who can still find a myriad of other ways to blow your money. Trust me, if you can sign up for a brokerage account and get options approval, you are having the most dangerous casino piped into your computer 5 days a week.
Just for the record, the Wire Act was made to combat mafia activity in sports betting. Don't mess up the intention of a law to how liberal judges and others with agendas have applied it. It was a large basis for the shutdown of online poker rooms operating offshore serving US customers. The DOJ has since said it doesn't apply to online poker.
Democratic Governors Association Letter
Yay! Finally, an entire party standing up for poker players!! Wrong. While I respect someone finally standing up for the 10th amendment, this letter is about protecting the revenues from online state lotteries. Since our governments are bad at budgeting and funding very mediocre education plans, they need to tax the mathematically challenged by letting them bet on 3 numbers in a row or scratch off tickets. I'm all about anyone being able to do whatever they want with their money, but the Democratic Governors appear to only want you to bet your money when it benefits their ability to fund their programs.
If you want to think about online gambling, you have to divide it into two categories. Player vs House and Player vs Player or Peer to Peer
My proposal:
Regarding all online gambling where it is player vs the house (corporate entity):
Let states decide how to regulate. This includes all games like roulette, craps, blackjack, slots, sports betting where the house is the book, etc. New Jersey has already decide they will let you pretty much bet on anything you want from the comfort of your own home. Allow states to tax revenues. There is no benefit to a network of people. This is like any casino. They make money when you lose money. They should be taxed at a higher rate if policy dictates you want to decrease gambling or use funds to treat gambling addicts.
Regarding Player vs Player games where money is bet and the corporate entity takes fees to host (these include fantasy sports, poker games and tournament, player vs player blackjack elimination tournaments, etc.) We need federal regulation that creates a framework of laws to punish cheaters, track money trails to prevent money laundering, hold corporations accountable, and prevent & treat underage and problem gambling. Poker is a large industry in the world and peer to peer games will only continue to grow in the future. Peer to peer games benefit from the network effect. The more states and countries involved in the networks, the better the prize pools, variety, and liquidity.
Unfortunately, the entire poker world is being lumped into the "online gambling" category because politicians on both sides are either promoting their "new" Presidential agenda (Perry) or trying to protect their economically unviable government programs.
Win to live. Live to win. It's the journey and not the destination that matters. Follow me on Twitter @icekevin.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
2014: Who's Ready?
Happy New Year and hope this year is the best one of your life. It should be. Every time I'm on a long plane ride or car journey or even just when I take a moment to run around Regents Park in London, I think about how lucky I am to exist and be alive.
2013 reflections
In terms of poker, It was my worst year financially, but nothing devastating or remotely close. I've always been disciplined financially in poker and whether or not that's prevented me from being in the poker limelight at times, it's kept me comfortable at the stakes I'm playing and thus far has provided me a great way to earn a nice risk adjusted return on my talent. I believe for two straight years I've probably been below expectation at the biggest stage in Las Vegas which is super frustrating as a player who has dreams of winning WSOP bracelets. Dedicating time and being away from a normal life to compete all summer in Vegas hurts when results aren't what you expect, but I can't think of better fuel for the fire for next year.
Emotionally, I feel like I dealt with the worst of it in poker, battled, got better, got mentally tougher, more original, and ultimately continued to love the competition. I always tell people who ask that poker has to be as close as anything to professional golf albeit it with thousands of players around the world capable of winning any single tournament. It's always a thrill to be in the hunt of any tournament and often whether you cash for thousands or hundreds of thousands comes down to the flip of a coin (bounce of a ball.) I can't remember a time where I've felt more prepared to deal with it as a professional than right now.
I went to some amazing places in 2013; Iceland, Deauville, Monaco, Prague, a tour de Scotland, Berlin to name some and think traveling the EPT is as fun as any poker tour out there. I love the feeling of heading out to a new place knowing I have a shot to win a huge tournament.
Health wise, I definitely cut down on miles of running and focused more on HIIT exercises either some form of no weights exercises for time and still love running 200-800m intervals when the weather permits.
2014 goals (poker focused)
1. Stay in the moment.
How to get there: meditate 2 times a day minimum. Meditation was lost of me for most parts of 2013, but I firmly believe in its power. Meditation is often for me about thought awareness and letting the mind be still for minutes even changes the course of the day. My favorite underrated way of meditating is listening to a song and just following one instrumental line in it and thinking about only that. I also like yoga and will set to do it at least twice a week in full sessions.
This goal is listed as number one because I believe it to be the single most important factor to success in anything.
2. Win a major live poker tournament (WSOP, EPT, WPT)
3. Win WCOOP or WSOP player of the year
bc why the hell play a full series if you aren't trying to win it all.
4. Win WCOOP bracelet 2
Winning one is cool, winning a second puts you in another class of champion.
5. Win 1 tournament a month online.
I want to focus more on outright winning since that's the completion of a poker tournament. Thoughts of laddering up in prize money crept into my head too much near the end of the year. While this is generally an important thing to evaluate in final table play and incorporate into ideal strategy, it can't dominate my thoughts. Factors change so quickly that I always want to be prepared to close. Setting a goal will help me keep this in the forefront of my perspective.
6. Win 1 Sunday tournament every 8 Sunday sessions.
7. Review every Sunday tournament played on Monday morning.
I also want to review lots more of players I respect when I get the opportunity to play against them.
8. Find joy/peace in every moment.
I feel very lucky to know I'm happier and a better person when I compare my performance to the man in the mirror. I can only achieve my max. What others are doing is just noise whether it be in poker, life, on Facebook or whatever. One of my favorite quotes from a man I admire immensely:
That's really just a better version of the commandment "thou shall not covet thy neighbor," but it's something I want to focus on because the biggest disappointment would be selling myself short because of effort, focus, dedication in any one year. Leaving the 2012 WSOP in Vegas, despite very few positives, I felt I had given 100% in every tournament. In 2013, I can think of three instances where I knew I was in lazily "gamble" mode in tourneys operating against instinct, not respecting the game or players playing it because I thought I had some right. After all, shouldn't they know I won the Sunday Million? Which brings me to my next favorite quote from my high school soccer coach
It won't happen again in 2014.
On poker and my life in general:
I realize that poker probably won't survive in its current form for another decade. States are segregating player pools in the US. This process is also happening worldwide stunting the growth of the game all over the world. The next boom will probably be in Asia, and I doubt I'll be able to globetrot chasing the game forever. Also, corporate and government greed will continue to be threats that poker players won't be able to unite against. Also, personally, it still looks like playing poker in the USA for a living will be a joke (limited online market.) Much like any boom in any business industry, poker will shake out into a mature industry that can't sustain growth under the current environment and I'll find something else.
I always have said since the moment I dedicated to playing poker that I'll take a look year to year and see how I feel about it. That being said : BRING ON 2014.
2013 reflections
In terms of poker, It was my worst year financially, but nothing devastating or remotely close. I've always been disciplined financially in poker and whether or not that's prevented me from being in the poker limelight at times, it's kept me comfortable at the stakes I'm playing and thus far has provided me a great way to earn a nice risk adjusted return on my talent. I believe for two straight years I've probably been below expectation at the biggest stage in Las Vegas which is super frustrating as a player who has dreams of winning WSOP bracelets. Dedicating time and being away from a normal life to compete all summer in Vegas hurts when results aren't what you expect, but I can't think of better fuel for the fire for next year.
Emotionally, I feel like I dealt with the worst of it in poker, battled, got better, got mentally tougher, more original, and ultimately continued to love the competition. I always tell people who ask that poker has to be as close as anything to professional golf albeit it with thousands of players around the world capable of winning any single tournament. It's always a thrill to be in the hunt of any tournament and often whether you cash for thousands or hundreds of thousands comes down to the flip of a coin (bounce of a ball.) I can't remember a time where I've felt more prepared to deal with it as a professional than right now.
I went to some amazing places in 2013; Iceland, Deauville, Monaco, Prague, a tour de Scotland, Berlin to name some and think traveling the EPT is as fun as any poker tour out there. I love the feeling of heading out to a new place knowing I have a shot to win a huge tournament.
Health wise, I definitely cut down on miles of running and focused more on HIIT exercises either some form of no weights exercises for time and still love running 200-800m intervals when the weather permits.
2014 goals (poker focused)
1. Stay in the moment.
How to get there: meditate 2 times a day minimum. Meditation was lost of me for most parts of 2013, but I firmly believe in its power. Meditation is often for me about thought awareness and letting the mind be still for minutes even changes the course of the day. My favorite underrated way of meditating is listening to a song and just following one instrumental line in it and thinking about only that. I also like yoga and will set to do it at least twice a week in full sessions.
This goal is listed as number one because I believe it to be the single most important factor to success in anything.
2. Win a major live poker tournament (WSOP, EPT, WPT)
3. Win WCOOP or WSOP player of the year
bc why the hell play a full series if you aren't trying to win it all.
4. Win WCOOP bracelet 2
Winning one is cool, winning a second puts you in another class of champion.
5. Win 1 tournament a month online.
I want to focus more on outright winning since that's the completion of a poker tournament. Thoughts of laddering up in prize money crept into my head too much near the end of the year. While this is generally an important thing to evaluate in final table play and incorporate into ideal strategy, it can't dominate my thoughts. Factors change so quickly that I always want to be prepared to close. Setting a goal will help me keep this in the forefront of my perspective.
6. Win 1 Sunday tournament every 8 Sunday sessions.
7. Review every Sunday tournament played on Monday morning.
I also want to review lots more of players I respect when I get the opportunity to play against them.
8. Find joy/peace in every moment.
I feel very lucky to know I'm happier and a better person when I compare my performance to the man in the mirror. I can only achieve my max. What others are doing is just noise whether it be in poker, life, on Facebook or whatever. One of my favorite quotes from a man I admire immensely:
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
That's really just a better version of the commandment "thou shall not covet thy neighbor," but it's something I want to focus on because the biggest disappointment would be selling myself short because of effort, focus, dedication in any one year. Leaving the 2012 WSOP in Vegas, despite very few positives, I felt I had given 100% in every tournament. In 2013, I can think of three instances where I knew I was in lazily "gamble" mode in tourneys operating against instinct, not respecting the game or players playing it because I thought I had some right. After all, shouldn't they know I won the Sunday Million? Which brings me to my next favorite quote from my high school soccer coach
"today's newspaper lines tomorrow's birdcage"
It won't happen again in 2014.
On poker and my life in general:
I realize that poker probably won't survive in its current form for another decade. States are segregating player pools in the US. This process is also happening worldwide stunting the growth of the game all over the world. The next boom will probably be in Asia, and I doubt I'll be able to globetrot chasing the game forever. Also, corporate and government greed will continue to be threats that poker players won't be able to unite against. Also, personally, it still looks like playing poker in the USA for a living will be a joke (limited online market.) Much like any boom in any business industry, poker will shake out into a mature industry that can't sustain growth under the current environment and I'll find something else.
I always have said since the moment I dedicated to playing poker that I'll take a look year to year and see how I feel about it. That being said : BRING ON 2014.
Friday, September 13, 2013
The First Card Off The Deck Rule and Why You Should Support It
Before reading my opinion, I
believe there are two great perspectives on this issue written by Neil Johnson, FOR and Dan O’Brien AGAINST. These give a bit of background and some more content. As an aside, Dan also addresses other topics important to the future of player's being represented properly. This prospect will require initiative and dedication by players to more than just playing the game. I will also link to Matt
Savage’s article (Read Here) supporting the rule change. I will refer to these articles in my post.
So do you know why poker dealers burn
a card before dealing out a flop, turn, river, or round of stud cards? Long
before online poker increased the popularity of poker games, gamblers attempted
to cheat. Marked cards were a simple way
for a cheating player to know the next card. A player could clearly see his marked card on
the top of the deck and act accordingly. Of course, the knowledge of this card
to one player and not the others harms the integrity of the game. Countless
other examples like this one are relevant to the current debate about the
“First Card Off The Deck” Rule (FCOTD). Ultimately, I want to explain that protecting
the integrity of the game is really the only core issue that matters in the
debate.
When Neil Johnson wrote his article
about his support for FCOTD, he said three times he’d seen a player come back
to a hand (in a tournament without the FCOTD rule), see another’s hole cards,
and act accordingly, adversely affecting the game. He “had me at hello” right here. Does anything else truly matter if this
happened? Protecting the integrity of the game is the most important job of
tournament directors. It’s why the
majority of rules exist in the first place. Now, I don’t know Neil personally,
but what incentive does he have to lie here?
Do tournament directors and dealers get extra credits for killing hands?
The poker community needs tournament directors to give their opinions about
these issues and form rules balancing the integrity of the game with what is
also good for the game. Integrity trumps the comfort of a player. Aren’t you
there to play the game?
Beyond this point, everything else
is a marginal point; however, I’ll address some of Dan O’ Brien’s arguments
against the rule. Some of his points are
highlighted and indented with my response following.
1. Rules Should Err On
the Side of NOT Killing Hands
“Rules should place as little
restriction on players as is necessary in order to uphold game integrity”
I couldn’t agree more with the
quote starting off his point, but I fail to see how the 10-20 seconds between
the first card and the last card is anything less than a “little restriction”
on players if the main point is upholding game integrity.
2. Dealer Function
With the "last
card" rule, dealers can immediately kill hands as they are deemed dead
when the last card hits the button. With the FCOTD rule, dealers cannot kill
hands while in the midst of a deal, causing dead hands to be pitched to stacks.
This creates unnecessary arguments and a rift between players and dealers as
emotional players don't want to give up the hand in front of them. It becomes
especially heated when players look down at a strong hand, causing additional
tension between players and staff. The fix for this, pitching dead hands to the
center of the table, creates confusion for dealers and often misdeals as it
becomes difficult to track which stacks should be pitched to and which should
be passed over. At the very least, it slows down deals considerably as dealers
are forced to think about where each card should be pitched.
In two years at the WSOP, I’ve been involved
in a dilemma with this rule at the hands of a dealer. I was entering the
tournament area in the first instance.
Knowing the game was Omaha where four cards are dealt to each player, I
liked my chances of getting to my hand.
As my fourth card was dealt, I reached my seat and the dealer continued
pitching the remaining five players their last card. He then reached for my hand and killed
it. I can’t explain the distress this
caused when I was told I wasn’t checked in to the tournament, so my hand was
dead. Of course, this ruling is
incorrect, but with FCOTD rule, I know my hand is dead so I walk to my seat
instead of sprint. Since I’m wronged
here, however, I now have to create a stir and an argument and slow up the game
and make others around me feel pretty uncomfortable. Nobody wants to play with
the guy who argues with the dealer the minute he sits down. I don’t want to be that guy. With FCOTD, I realize there have been errors
in killing hands (most notably Daniel Negreanu’s hand in Barcelona High Roller),
but in my experience throughout Europe vs. the USA, there are fewer
discrepancies when FCOTD is employed.
Also, asserting dealers are going
to be slow seems like a bold and inaccurate claim. I’ve seen plenty of capable dealers pitch
dead hands to the middle as well as others mess up. I’ve also seen dealers pitch a player’s hand
that wasn’t seated towards the middle of the table, but then the player arrived
and demanded his hand. In one instance,
another player mucked his hand through these cards and the hand was declared
dead anyway. With FCOTD rule, this never
happens.
Now, I’d like to address the socializing
argument. I’ll be brief. Players who
don’t speak English are essentially screwed out of their native language for the
preference of game integrity in card rooms all over the world. I would be willing to wager that 99 times out
of 100 players speaking a different language at the table aren’t cheating. Because of the tiny minority who would or
have cheated, we sacrifice players speaking in their native language while
playing to ensure cheating isn’t a possibility. Surely, this can’t make those
players feel comfortable or even welcome in different countries, but we do it
because game integrity trumps player’s desires.
Overall, I believe the debate is
misplaced and not actually respecting a minor sacrifice for something that
eliminates a scenario that one tournament director has witnessed on multiple
occasions. In my tweets to Daniel
Negreanu about this issue, he discounted this point as well, basically implying
that it doesn’t happen and someone would need to be the fastest human ever to
accomplish this task. So are the
opponents calling Neil Johnson a liar? I
don’t know. I truly don’t think the opponents of the rule get it. Game integrity trumps all. It’s why we have burn cards, English or
native language only rules, and countless other procedures. It’s why tournament
directors penalize players for getting out of their seats on the bubble. Information known to one player and not
another is unfair or even the mere possibility of this happening is enough to
take action to prevent it. I’d rather take Neil at his word than worry that any
player will be wronged in the future.
Surely, a dealer has accidentally flipped over your ace of spades and
turned your ace-king suited into king-three off. You wanted that ace, yet for
purposes of integrity, you can’t have it. Ultimately, this rule will be a minor
inconvenience of 10-20 seconds and players will adapt while securing the
integrity of the game.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Top 5 Lebron Cleveland Highlights
In honor of Lebron's return to Cleveland on the eve of a 23 game win streak, I blog for the first time in centuries with my favorite 5 Lebron in a Cleveland uniform highlights. I may or may not have burned my orange Witness shirt when Lebron left, but all is forgiven at this point. It's just a game and the possibility that we would get even a few more of these highlights in a Cavs' uniform next to Kyrie in the future would just be a bonus.
5. Lebron's Block on Yao Ming & Chase Down Blocks
Lebron had many great blocks followed by Austin Carr's patented "GET THAT WEAK STUFF OUTTA HERE" call, but I remember the Yao Ming one the best. Lebron's Jason Richardson spin dunk block was hilarious.
4. Lebron's Gamewinner Against 4 Wizards in Playoffs
The highlight starts at 1:45, but it was probably the first playoff game winner Lebron ever hit. You get a bonus 9 highlights. Just ignore those Heat highlights.
3. No Regard for Human Life
It might have been the call by Marv Albert or the fact that Boston was the first big 3 team, but this dunk was memorable to say the least.
2. Game 2 Gamewinner vs Orlando
I've never heard a roar so loud in my life. My family was in Las Vegas watching this game in the Bellagio sports book. The atmosphere was a mix between the standard Lebron hater, the 7 Orlando fans surprised to see their team playing out of their mind and your loyal doom and gloom Cleveland fans that could see it happening again. (It did eventually happen again) I almost started a brawl in the sports book by skipping and jumping and screaming in everyone's face after this shot whether they were a Cleveland, Orlando, or casual fan.
1. Lebron Goes off in Game 5 of Eastern Conference Semis at Detroit
Detroit was that first hurdle the Cavs and Lebron has to get over to get to the championship and it took a game like this for it to happen. The best part of this game was it was at Detroit. The rivalry was bitter and Lebron answered every time the Cavs fell behind. We all thought this was the beginning, but it never quite happened as much as we expected.
5. Lebron's Block on Yao Ming & Chase Down Blocks
Lebron had many great blocks followed by Austin Carr's patented "GET THAT WEAK STUFF OUTTA HERE" call, but I remember the Yao Ming one the best. Lebron's Jason Richardson spin dunk block was hilarious.
4. Lebron's Gamewinner Against 4 Wizards in Playoffs
The highlight starts at 1:45, but it was probably the first playoff game winner Lebron ever hit. You get a bonus 9 highlights. Just ignore those Heat highlights.
3. No Regard for Human Life
It might have been the call by Marv Albert or the fact that Boston was the first big 3 team, but this dunk was memorable to say the least.
2. Game 2 Gamewinner vs Orlando
I've never heard a roar so loud in my life. My family was in Las Vegas watching this game in the Bellagio sports book. The atmosphere was a mix between the standard Lebron hater, the 7 Orlando fans surprised to see their team playing out of their mind and your loyal doom and gloom Cleveland fans that could see it happening again. (It did eventually happen again) I almost started a brawl in the sports book by skipping and jumping and screaming in everyone's face after this shot whether they were a Cleveland, Orlando, or casual fan.
1. Lebron Goes off in Game 5 of Eastern Conference Semis at Detroit
Detroit was that first hurdle the Cavs and Lebron has to get over to get to the championship and it took a game like this for it to happen. The best part of this game was it was at Detroit. The rivalry was bitter and Lebron answered every time the Cavs fell behind. We all thought this was the beginning, but it never quite happened as much as we expected.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
What's more unlikely, this hand or winning the lottery?
okerStars Hand #85691385115: Tournament #2012090006, $200+$15 USD 5 Card Draw No Limit - Level VII (75/150) - 2012/09/04 18:22:56 WET [2012/09/04 13:22:56 ET]
Table '2012090006 54' 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: lora2030 (4765 in chips)
Seat 2: WAIT8988 (4727 in chips)
Seat 3: iacog4 (14116 in chips)
Seat 4: gebbe (9489 in chips)
Seat 5: fsh! (10581 in chips)
Seat 6: ShaolinPower (2900 in chips)
lora2030: posts the ante 40
WAIT8988: posts the ante 40
iacog4: posts the ante 40
gebbe: posts the ante 40
fsh!: posts the ante 40
ShaolinPower: posts the ante 40
iacog4: posts small blind 75
gebbe: posts big blind 150
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to iacog4 [Qh 4d 8s Qc 5h]
fsh!: folds
ShaolinPower: folds
lora2030: folds
WAIT8988: calls 150
iacog4: calls 75
gebbe: raises 300 to 450
WAIT8988: folds
iacog4: calls 300
iacog4: discards 3 cards [4d 8s 5h]
Dealt to iacog4 [Qh Qc] [Ac As Ah]
gebbe: discards 3 cards
iacog4: bets 1050
gebbe: raises 3390 to 4440
iacog4: raises 9186 to 13626 and is all-in
gebbe: calls 4559 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (4627) returned to iacog4
*** SHOW DOWN ***
iacog4: shows [Qh Ac As Qc Ah] (a full house, Aces full of Queens)
gebbe: shows [Th Td Ts Tc Jc] (four of a kind, Tens)
gebbe collected 19288 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 19288 | Rake 0
Seat 1: lora2030 folded before the Draw (didn't bet)
Seat 2: WAIT8988 (button) folded before the Draw
Seat 3: iacog4 (small blind) showed [Qh Ac As Qc Ah] and lost with a full house, Aces full of Queens
Seat 4: gebbe (big blind) showed [Th Td Ts Tc Jc] and won (19288) with four of a kind, Tens
Seat 5: fsh! folded before the Draw (didn't bet)
Seat 6: ShaolinPower folded before the Draw (didn't bet)
Friday, May 11, 2012
SCOOP Taste Complete
After missing the first couple days of SCOOP on Pokerstars, I came back to play 4 days of SCOOP with very limited success. If not for a 2nd place in the $55 Hot 55 Turbo to end today, I would be beat up pretty good in the first 4 days. That being said, I'm taking Saturday off and coming back for a complete Sunday to Sunday, 100% focus, no joke, play like a champion. The structure of the SCOOPs is very good meaning it pretty much ensures you play every waking hour of the day. Being in London is awkward since the timing is usually about 4pm-??? (when the sun comes up hopefully). I know what I'm dealing with now and ready for the last real grind I'll experience before Las Vegas and the WSOP.
I also added some links to my blog and played around with the new Blogger. I hope to keep this mostly poker focused and may even look into a couple video blogs come the WSOP this summer since I've determined I'm completely awkward on camera.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
And I'm feeling kind of Sunday.
Nine big blinds. How did I get here? Should I move all in with Q7? 64 suited? Better wait...Jay Z just came on. Jay Z is such bad luck. When is the last time I won listening to Jay Z? Don't be superstitious? Being superstitious is so unlucky. I wonder if people would even get that if I made it a joke. Stop thinking about this stuff. Deal with the result! Double up! Finally, I doubled up. Ok. Battle, battle, battle. 55 people on the leader board remaining out of 7300+ and I'm in 54th. Who cares? Joe Cada won the main event 9th place out of 9. I can do this.
It was :55 minutes after the hour. It may have been 3:55 or 4:55 am. I don't remember. I looked in the mirror. My face was scruffy, eyes bloodshot, and hair disheveled. I won an online tourney last time I wore this blue LuLu shirt and then jumped and danced around like a banshee at 11:00am because winning meant so much. Look at my eyes. Beyond the slightly bloodshot cornea caused from facing my 14th or 15th hour of Sunday poker, I just meditated for a moment on the brown color of my iris. I've never quite seen this color before. I bet it's unique just like me in this vast universe. I snapped out of my mind wondering. Maybe 20 seconds later, I mouthed the words, "this is it." I was standing there in the mirror giving myself a pep talk. Give it your all. Don't be a hero. Follow your gut. Be gutsy. I walked back to my computer on the couch, a spot I move when it gets to crunch time.
Nearly 3 hours later, I had made a deal for my largest online score in my poker career in the tournament that I've played every Sunday since I can remember playing poker, the Sunday Million on Pokerstars.
It was so awesome to be in the moment and appreciate this for what it was; doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and finally experiencing, reaching a goal of mine in the online poker world for 6+ years. Adrenaline pumped through my veins at crucial situations. I risked 1/3 of my chip stack on a total bluff, 5 bet shoved K7 (to poker novices both rare situations). Both times, I felt absurdly confident and nonchalant despite a pulse jamming through skin acknowledging the crucial timing of the tournament. Sometimes things line up and work out and other times, I spend hours and days grinding away at tournaments hoping to get this remarkable, unique moment. It comes and goes in no more than 3-4 hours. Sometimes the moment vanishes abruptly with a stroke of bad fortune or timing like a 10th place finish a few weeks earlier in a tournament of 6000+ online, or a 23rd place finish at UKIPT Nottingham at the end of April. I thought about when I was probably 58th of 58 in Berlin a few weeks earlier and my short stack took a beat and vanished while someone else went on to glory. On Sunday, the moment didn't vanish until the feeling of accomplishment and elation of winning an absurd amount of prize money greeted the Monday morning London sunshine.
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